Gotta Catch ‘Em All

I was raised in post-Pokemon era, when kids were taught to chase magical creatures, collect them, train them, and pit them against each other in battle. It stuck with me more than I ever intended.

Now I'm a woman in my mid-thirties, I’m wondering if there’s any point in collecting fantasized goals anymore. My life has taken shape and it’s getting clearer now. It’s getting more cramped too. There’s no more space for new things, it was filled with all the Pokemon I collected throughout my youth. Maybe instead of still trying to “catch ’em all,” I should just “let ‘em go”. All the thoughts, hopes, dreams, expectations, beliefs, assumptions, emotional baggage, and lingering hurts... Maybe I should just live with what’s left and truly, truly love it, and embrace it.

I’m listening to Leonard Cohen’s Did I Ever Love You as I write this, and it makes me wonder: did I ever really love everything I thought I loved? Or were they just phases I had to go through? What’s the point of holding on to something if you don’t nurture it? I think, part of growing up is realizing that maybe keeping a little is better than having everything and then letting it rot.